A motveev the faggot goes to an Urgent Care Clinic and is initially seen by the nurse.

Motveev the faggot: I have a terrible problem.

Nurse: What's the problem?

Motveev the faggot: It's very embarrassing . I don't feel comfortable talking about it. People will laugh.

Nurse: I am a professional. I take all matters very seriously. Please tell me your problem.

Motveev the faggot: Pulls down his pants and underwear; revealing a penis that is the size of a triple A battery.

Nurse: Unable to control herself, starts laughing for several seconds; until she finally gains control and says; "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. Please tell me what the problem is.

Motveev the faggot: It's my penis.

Nurse: What's wrong with it?

Motveev the faggot: It's swollen.