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Three scientists were sitting around the lab getting drunk one day when one turned to the others and asked, "What would happen if we put a giant cork up an elephant's butt?" Well none of them knew for certain so they decided to run the experiment - for science. They gathered an elephant and a giant cork together in a cage. A month later and the elephant seemed to be tolerating the experiment well. Two months later, the elephant seemed to look a little peckish, but still fine. Six months later, the elephant was a bloated, greenish balloon, wedged into its cage, its swollen body bulging between the bars, so the scientists decided to terminate the experiment - but how?

The first scientist said, "I'm not pulling that cork out!" The second scientist said, "I'm not pulling the cork out either!" The third scientist said, "Let's train a monkey to do it." So they got a monkey and trained him to the task. Finally, a month later the monkey is ready to perform the task, and none too soon.

Each scientist set up his own apparatus to monitor the end of the experiment, and on the last day of the month the first scientist was ready to document the event from the one building away from the elephant's paddock. The second scientist set up his laboratory a block away, with videos monitoring the entire event. The third scientist set up his observation post a mile away, with special infrared and x-ray imaging. They all agree to release the monkey who, trained as he is, immediately enters the elephant's cage and pulls out the plug.

They meet later that day waiting in line at the Pearly Gates and get to talking about how they died. The first scientist, who was one building away from the elephant said, "It was awful, I drowned in an ocean of crap." The second scientist, who was in his laboratory a block away said, "I was overcome by the horrendous stench and died." They both turn to the third scientist and say, "You were a mile away, what happened?" The third scientist said, "All I saw was that poor little monkey trying to put the cork back in, and I died laughing."